Go Bulldogs!

Bulldog
Originally uploaded by k.love

Just got back from my sons high school orientation meeting. The principal is inspiring and driven. The assistant principals seem to be serious, dedicated and fun. I've come away inspired by their talks. Not only is this a huge scary milestone sort of of change, but it's also a chance to change in a good way.

Lovey has seen the importance of applying his incredible brain power to school and seems really dedicated to becoming a better student. He also said that he's thinking of joining the golf team. I can't tell you how much this will please not only his father, but his grandfather & uncles. In typical 14 year old fashion, there isn't a lot of umph behind the voice, but the enthusiasm of the words was a joy to hear.

Here's to new adventures and new beginings!

Self Acceptance

Was out looking for inspiration during my lunch break and found this over at Feeling Stichy. It is the contest winner for the Summer Sampler contest. Not only is the needlework amazing. It has an incredible and beautiful message. One I needed today as gaze at the soda on my desk with disdain. Thinking that food is the root of all evil.

Angel speak

angel BW 2
Originally uploaded by Pierre the III

Have you ever been in a conversation and said something that surprised you both in the beauty of the words and the beauty of the meaning? I have, and just experienced it again a few minutes ago.

While sitting at lunch talking with some co-workers, a woman I've worked on and off with for over 10 years was talking about an experience with a homeless man. Her question was "Why do they always come to me?"

Without thinking, without pausing, I said..."Maybe you have wings that only the needy can see."

As soon as it was out of my mouth, I was stuck by the words. I've posted before about my own experience with a homeless man and my feeling that he was an angel. Perhaps I haven't thought it through to the end. Maybe, just sometimes, we are the angel that someone else needs.

" Be Positive "

" Be Positive "
Originally uploaded by SamaKa~Q8 ;*

Found this photo on Flickr today.

It says it all.

I Am Thankful

The pressure or life has been hard lately, as it can be for all of us, and I think it's time to count my blessings. Today, I'm feeling the need to be thankful.

I am thankful for.....

My husband-That we have survived over 15 years together and we truly love each other more today than we ever have before. How lucky I am to have found him.

My beautiful son-He is growing into such a kind, funny, intelligent man. He is a gift to me.

My sister-What can I say about her? Where would I be without her guidance and support? To quote AA Milne (as Winnie The Pooh) "If you live to be 100, I hope I live to be 100 minus 1 day, so I never have to live without you."

My niece & nephews-There is a love from them that is unlike any other love I've ever experienced. They are my joy.

My brother in law G-If given the chance, I couldn't have picked a better husband for my sister.

My grandparents-There aren't words enough....

My husbands family-There are so many of them! I've gained new siblings and new friends. They love and support me unconditionally. They are exactly what I needed.

Old friends-Becoming new.

Employment-For now, at least I have it.

Starbucks Venti Iced Black Tea with extra ice-A girl has needs!

Figi Water-Water should always taste this good.

Hawaii-It's called paradise for a reason.

Dogs-Just about any dogs. Although I have a few favorites.

My town-As crazy as it can be, it is slow and peaceful.

My mountains-Part of why I love my town.

The Sequoia National Forest-This is heaven to me.

Bird songs-They wake me every morning.

Lexi-Dot-She is crazy. She is 100% cat, but she is a great conversationalist.

Memories-Good and bad-they made me who I am.

Prayer-Nothing has given me more peace than the simple act of praying.

What are you thankful for today?

Another new read

Just started a new blog in collaberation with my good friend Ferris. Head on over sometime. Thanks!

Conversations With Shen

Purging my brain

Yes, a third blog of the day. Just needed to share. Put it into words to get it out of my head.

I work for what was once a large company that has recently suffered huge layoffs and worse. My desk is located in one quarter of the 3rd floor of a large office building. This one quarter of one floor used to seat at least 300 people. I am now one of only 10 in this small corner. It has been that way for a few weeks and as depressing as it is, today it is much, much worse. A crew of about 15 people are clearing away the computers, etc. from all of the surrounding desks. I feel like a corpse waiting to be taken to the morgue, watching all of the other dead bodies being carried away. What’s next? Turning off the air conditioner? Shutting of the lights? Cutting off the water? It’s eerie and it’s sad.

Three Favorites

You know you've been listening to the same morning show for too long when you start recognizing the caller’s voices.

As I was listening to this familiar voice on the radio this morning, they were discussing an interesting topic: If you were stranded on a desert island, what one album (CD for the younguns) would you want with you? We play a similar game around the dinner table. It’s always interesting to hear how the responses change. Especially from Lovey. So here’s the MEME, if you will…..Your Three Favorites-what you want on your desert island.
Three Favorite Albums:
The White Album-The Beatles
All That You Can’t Leave Behind-U2

Feeding Frenzy-Jimmy Buffett

Three Favorite Songs:
Yesterday-The Beatles
Beautiful Day-U2
Over The Rainbow/Wonderful World-Israel Kamakawiwo’ole

Three Favorite Movies:
The Princess Bride
John Hughes 80’s teen movies-a girl can’t pick just one.
O Brother Where Art Thou

Three Favorite Movie Quotes:
“Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while.”
“Blane?! Blane’s not a name, it’s a major appliance!”
“Oh George, not the livestock.”

Three Favorite Books:
Gone With the Wind-Margaret Mitchell
The Time Travelers Wife-Audrey Niffenger (sp?)
Pride & Prejudice-Jane Austen

Now that I’m done…..three is never enough.

“Have fun storming the castle!”

EXTRA! EXTRA!

For those of you looking for an entertaining read (seriously funny, I mean it)....Head on over to the blog of my friend Ferris and her Tales From the Porch. She's just getting started, but her posts leave you wanting more.

Can You Play? (Long post)

I have known Ferris since the day I was born. Of course, I don’t remember the day itself, being so small & new, but we’ve been told this as fact. She lived just two doors down from my grandparent’s house. My earliest memories of friendship come from being with her. Playing baseball in the middle of the street (she was going to be the first female Dodger), coming up with crazy plays and dancing to popular music. We went to different schools, and when we were very small, I lived farther away. But we always came together in the summertime. I was the little girl that didn’t make friends easily and she was always a bundle of energy that just pulled me along with her. Adolescence came, and being from completely different worlds, we drifted apart. We ended up going to the same high school, but being in different grades and different circles, we didn’t really “hang out”.

When I was 16, I tried out for cheerleading. To this day, I don’t know what gave me the idea, let alone the courage, to do such a thing. I think I was trying to break out of the shy girl mode, and to break away from people that were anything but friends. Ferris was already in Varsity Cheer and great at it. Somehow I made the JV team and started practicing everyday, becoming totally immersed in the sport. My grandmother, tired of driving me back and forth, asked Ferris to start taking me. We were going to the same place anyway. At first it was awkward. I thought of her as a popular girl and she intimidated me. This lasted for about 15 seconds. Then I realized that she was still Ferris and I was still me. This simple act from my grandmother, and Ferris’ mom I’m sure, was the greatest gift I had been given in my 16 years. I went from having terrible, manipulative, user friends, to having a best friend for the first time in my life.

We became inseparable. We went everywhere together. From taking trips to Fashion Island for the day, to driving 5 minutes to Sav-On. She had a boyfriend, but that didn’t stop of us from always being together. I’m sure they had time with just the two of them, but it must have been rare. We were so linked that her boyfriend had combined our names into one word, long before the Benifer & Brangelinas of the world. Things didn’t really change when we entered college. We remained attached. She had a new boyfriend. Anyone we dated knew we were a box set. You may date her, but you’ll have to be friends with me.

We started dating our husbands within days of each other. At the time, they too were best friends. A mutual friend had intentions of fixing me up with The King and Ferris up with Chas. In fact, Chas liked Ferris, she is more his type. Petite and curvy. God had other plans. Chas was meant for me and The King was meant for her. Things moved quickly with both of us. We didn’t’ drift apart as much as we became adults with adult relationships. We were still somewhat attached however, working at the same place, eating lunch together everyday. When she had her first child, I was there.

Something happened in the next few years. We did drift apart. There wasn’t a specific event that I know of. It was just time and circumstances. It is how life played out. It was time. We needed to become adults independent of each other. We needed to become wives and mothers without the others influence. The time spent apart was too long. There were times when her absence from my life was palpable. Not only did I lack the courage to call her, but I knew in my heart that we were apart for a reason.

Recently, we have reconnected through the persuasion of our husbands. The first night we had dinner together was much like the first day in her car when I was 16. I was scared and nervous. I’d like to say that went away within 15 seconds again, but it didn’t, it lasted a few days. We have let each other in by bits and pieces. We are no where near the best friends we used to be. But, I don’t think we need or want to be. We have husbands for that type of intimacy and closeness.

Ferris believes, and I agree, that we have come into one another’s lives again for a purpose; that we each have something to learn from the other. Each time we have come together we have been at pivotal times. As little girls when we were learning how to make friends, when we were teens and needed the companionship only a best girl friend can give, and now, as adults, nearing our 40’s and the new challenges life will offer. I believe we have the same things to learn from each other that we always have. I need to learn how to be more open and trusting, less shy. I need to learn how to get out into the world rather than staying a homebody. I have things to teach her as well, but that’s for her to discuss. What ever the lessons or reasons are, I am so grateful and blessed that she is in my life again.

Other than my sister, who else knew me in pigtails and red tennis shoes? Who else knows about my deepest high school crushes and wildest dreams? She shared most of my life changing events with me. She watched me and helped me to become who I am today. I’d like to think I helped her too. Someday we’ll be old & gray, but I hope we’ll still call to say “Can you play?”

Sunday Morning Tresspassing

This weekend my family went to Warner Springs, what could be considered the ancestral home of my husbands family. His grandparents started going there and built a house overlooking the valley well over 50 years ago. The house was sold, sadly, a few years ago. However, at the same time a long missed sister moved back to Southern California and was fortunate to purchase an amazing house in the same neighborhood. We love driving down to visit them for long weekends of food, laughter and love.

This weekend would be no exception. All of the remaining siblings with the exception of one, headed to Warners to honor the birthday and passing of their mother who died 20 years ago. Friday and Saturday passed with the typical relaxation and enjoyment. Golf, swimming, catching a few moments of the Olympics, playing games.

Sunday, however, was a different story. Just this week, my husband and I were talking about how he and his siblings are "rule breakers". They don't break the law (anymore), but the rules for most people simply don't apply. My theory is that coming from such a large family, they think differently about rules that the rest of the world. They say, "What are they going to do, arrest us all?"

When Mom died per her request, her ashes were to be spread at the observatory that can be viewed from the patio of their grandparents pink house in Warner Springs. This would allow all of her children to be able to see her resting spot from the house that they loved, and they feel, it would allow her to keep and eye on them.

Sounds simple enough, drive an hour to the observatory, use one of the hiking trails, and scatter the ashes to the wind. Sure, simple for most people, but not this group. Not only is spreading ashes in a public place like this not permitted, but they strayed from the path, into restricted areas of the observatory so that they could see the road leading to the pink house. This was no small feat considering the number of people involved.

Sunday morning, just after 6am, we planned to follow the rules. We were going to park in the parking lot, hike in, have a picnic breakfast and say a few words of remembrance. After a beautiful drive up high in the mountains, we arrived at the observatory to find it closed until 9am. No matter, we parked our cars (in between two no parking signs mind you) and decided to take the hiking trail. Then we remembered...rattle snakes....probably not a good idea to go tramping through dense brush in the early morning hours of a warm summer day. The sisters turned toward the gate, ignored the large "Authorized Personnel Only" sign and started walking. Every fork in the road, we took the "No Entry" path. This is a large observatory, used by the local, state, and federal government. Just on the other side of the observatory lies a large military base. Not to mention that we were trespassing through mountain areas during a time of high fire danger. Were we really making the right choices?

Upon arriving at one of the smaller domes, they decided that this was the place. Sister J quickly said a few words, Brother B talked of missing his mother on this, her birthday. We held hands and shared the brief sadness. Then, realizing that the opening hour was approaching we dashed back to the "No Parking" zone hoping our cars would still be there.

During the walk back, a large utility truck turned a corner and headed towards us. We all thought that we were caught. We drew a collective breath, all hung our heads and kept walking. My guilty mind thinking..we're going to be arrested! We're all together so who will come bail us out? The truck passed us by of course. No surprise to my husband and his siblings. We made it out of the observatory safely and thankfully our cars remained where we had left them. No tow truck, not so much as a ticket. How do they get away with it?

As we said goodbye and headed back down the mountain, I thought I heard the laughter of a mother at her sweetly misbehaved children.

My latest project

On my last trip to Idaho, I was in heaven. Although I missed my Sissy and brother in law, I was giddy with excitement at spending the time with just my niecphews. When Minnie was little I took care of her a lot. When Magoo was born, they were all in Idaho and I was completely broke so I didn't get to visit him, much less take care of him. And Monkey....well, Sissy was so sick when he was born and he was so early that I visited them a lot and took care of him. But never have I had them all to myself.

To surprise Sissy & BIL I took pictures of the kids, had them printed in sepia tones and framed. I sat them on her dining table so they would be the first thing they saw when they walked into the house. The 3 photos below are some of the results.

Where Have I Been

Seriously? Where have I been? Why has it been nearly two years since my last post? I never intended it to be my last. Never made a conscience effort to stop blogging. It just slipped past me.

My sweet Lovey is now 14 and starts high school in September. See how much he has changed! We're all a little bit nervous about this next big step. I have faith though, that together we will make it though.


I'm still living in Southern California. While my dreams of moving to Idaho have certainly not died, I have gained patience. I'm at ease with being where we are now because I know it won't be forever.


I'm still at the same job, although with the mortgage industry being what it is, my job is day to day. It's stressful but I'm trying hard to remain upbeat about the whole thing. So many people have lost their jobs, including friends, that I'm thankful to still have a paycheck and insurance.

My Sissy, who also has not blogged in quite some time, has finally opened her store. A physical location, not just a website. The store is lovely and suits her to a T. I'm so very proud of her. Not everyone gets to realize there dreams in this life and she has.

My niece and nephews are as beautiful as ever. Growing every day. Each call I make to them leaves me in awe at how quickly time passes. Sweet Minnie is 10! She's such a grown up girl now. I miss her being little. Magoo too is growing up. He's such a sweet and caring boy. Monkey is no longer a baby, which is so very sad but also wonderful.

I am truly blessed to have such a wonderful family.

Now, onto the blog-of-it. I think my mission needs to change with the blog. I have finally decided that I need to "find my bliss" so to speak. I need to use the gifts given to me. I am talented and creative and my aim is to start creating and share those creations here. Wish me luck.

Signing off until next time.....