Frustration.

Frustration.
Originally uploaded by Craig Axxie

I am so sick of working with women that are deceptive and untrustworthy. I am in a difficult position. Being one of three people out of thirty that were not laid off leaves me with having to work with two women I do not trust nor really care for. I’ve been trying to make the best of it but I’m at the end of my rope. One of them I know for a fact has lied and spread nastiness about me behind my back. The other (a woman who claims Christianity), I honestly do know if anything that passes her lips is true. She constantly buddies up to someone to their face but then speaks viciously about them the second they turn their backs. Sometimes she doesn’t even wait for them to be out of earshot! This would include our boss, who may not be the most inspiring person to work for but he is a nice man. Although, I’ve been told in the past not to trust him either. I suppose it’s the nature of working in the industry I do. Living where I do.

It’s a terrible feeling to come to work each day and feel not only like an outsider but to feel as is I need to watch every word I say and every thing that I do. That combined with my general panic that I will eventually get laid off and my husbands business with continue to take a downturn makes for long days in cubicle H-E-Double Hockey Sticks. See! Doesn’t that say something about a person that won’t even swear in a blog that is read by only a handful of people!

These people I work with make me doubt MY goodness. If they can be so mean about me behind my back, then is some of what they say true? They make me want to hide my intelligence and productivity. To “dumb” myself down in attempt to hide from them. I know this is the wrong approach. I know that I should continue to be positive and be true to myself. But today, they are winning.