Happy Thanksgiving!

Desert Storm
Originally uploaded by ms4jah

Happy Thanksgiving! I know, I’m a few days early but we’re on the road tomorrow morning to Warner Springs for a cold & rainy holiday. One of the many things I’m thankful for. The coming days will be filled with cooking & family. There’s so many of us that the list of things I’m thankful for often goes unspoken. So with two more days to go, here are a few of those many, many blessings….

I am thankful for…
My family-California & beyond
My old friend Ferris coming back into my life
My job and the simple fact that I still have one
The weather finally cooling off for a chilly Thanksgiving
That is will rain this week and the burnt earth will begin to heal
That on Thanksgiving Day we will have a lovely meal made from scratch by loving hands

For each new morning with its light,
For rest and shelter of the night,
For health and food,
For love and friends,
For everything Thy goodness sends.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Happy Thanksgiving!

Desert Storm
Originally uploaded by ms4jah

Happy Thanksgiving! I know, I’m a few days early but we’re on the road tomorrow morning to Warner Springs for a cold & rainy holiday. One of the many things I’m thankful for. The coming days will be filled with cooking & family. There’s so many of us that the list of things I’m thankful for often goes unspoken. So with two more days to go, here are a few of those many, many blessings….

I am thankful for…
My family-California & beyond
My old friend Ferris coming back into my life
My job and the simple fact that I still have one
The weather finally cooling off for a chilly Thanksgiving
That it will rain this week and the burnt earth will begin to heal
That on Thanksgiving Day we will have a lovely meal made from scratch by loving hands

With that, I wish you a beautiful holiday.

For each new morning with its light,
For rest and shelter of the night,
For health and food,
For love and friends,
For everything Thy goodness sends.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Odes...continuing

Just read through my previous "Odes". Lots of typos to fix but I think they're still good. I have two in me for this year. They'll be coming soon. Stay tuned....

Christmas Music

I know it’s not even Thanksgiving yet, but I’m already listening to Christmas music. I can’t help it. It is one of my favorite parts of this time of year. Yesterday, I bought YoYo Ma -Songs of Joy & Peace. As I type, Alison Krauss is singing The Wexford Carol. A song I had never heard before now and it’s beautiful. The combination of the haunting cello and her angelic voice…puts me in a truly peaceful, Christmas-y mood. Never mind that it will likely be 90 today, or that the world around is quite literally going up in flames. Right now, I feel joy & peace. More importantly, I’m feeling full of hope.

May I be the first to wish you a very merry Christmas.

Coffee, coffee, coffee

This post is primarily for my sister. Why? Because she will be shocked. Joyously shocked at something new to tease me about.

I have, over the last few weeks, been increasingly drawn to a simple cup of coffee. While this may seem normal to most people, I have never been a coffee person. An iced mocha from Starbucks now and then. If it was really really cold (a rare occasion in my neck of the woods), maybe a Peppermint Mocha. I have never been one to crave a cup o’ joe in the morning.

But lately, the idea of it has been intoxicating. Just the other day, as I toasted my pumpkin bagel, I dug into my husbands coffee stash looking for the one pod not labeled “jet fuel” or something similar. I took my first sip and my husband stepped into the kitchen. His mouth fell open in speechless wonder. My husband being speechless is really something. I just don’t drink coffee in the morning.

Maybe it’s part of getting older. Maybe it’s the added stress in my life. Whatever it is, I’ve made the first step into the world of coffee drinkers. I know I’ll be welcomed with open, if somewhat jittery, arms.

Doughnut Muffins

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Originally uploaded by bbratsthoughts

I spent the better part of last week searching online & through cookbooks for doughnut muffin recipes. All were pretty similar but each had something slightly different about them. Google "Doughnut Muffins" and find one that sounds good to you. Most recipes I found called for nutmeg. I'm not a huge fan so I used pumpkin pie spice instead. I can't describe how light and yummy these muffins are. They smelled so good that my neighbor called to ask me to bring by whatever it was I was baking.

Edit: Here's a link to a very similar recipe out there in blogdom. She used powdered sugar instead but still sounds yummy.

This will make you laugh. At me.

Shared the following with Ferris & also my sister in law Fifi. They both laughed so why not share it here.

I'm sitting here listening to my iPod. I notice that the music sounds strange, like it's kind of muted and not really "stereo". I play with the volume. Nothing fixes it. I'm getting to that 3 year mark so I start thinking the sound is going out and I won't be able to buy a new one for while. Seriously start getting frustrated and irritated with the thing as I play with it to fix the sound.

Then I realize. I only have one ear bud in. The other is hanging down the front of me. Dork. Sounds fine now.

Trying to find peace....

I’m currently a bit overwhelmed with worry. I think most of us are. It seems everyone I know is facing some sort of crisis. My sweet brother in law is a financial advisor and deals with it everyday. I’ve been comforted by the fact (as told to me by my Sissy) that many of the appointments he’s gone on have started off about money, but have ended up being time spent in discussion of faith and comfort that God will provide. Today, my loved ones & I have roofs over our heads. Food in our stomachs. Clothes on our backs. If tomorrow we don’t, we are not alone and will care for one another. That is enough.
Times are changing and as they say, our true selves will be revealed in how we handle the hardships and change.

I recently created a playlist for myself on iTunes. I love it. It’s a little bit political, but not entirely. If, like me, you listen to the beauty of the music combined with the lyrics, you’ll see what I mean. It shows my frustration & hope at the same time. Music can soothe the weary heart. I just spent the last 30 minutes slyly trying to figure out how to post it here through imeem with no luck at all. So, it’s up to you. I’ll give you the playlist. If you want to hear the music itself, head on over to iTunes or wherever you listen to music & create it your self. Enjoy.

God’s Gonna Cut You Down-Johnny Cash
In The News-Kris Kristofferson
One-U2
Instant Karma-John Lennon
This is Our Country-John Mellancamp
Mercy Now-Mary Gauthier
No More-The Blind Boys of Alabama
The Times They Are A Changin’-Bob Dylan
Rich Mans War-Steve Earle
White House Blues-Charlie Poole
We Can’t Make It Here-James McMurtry
What Ever Happened To Peace On Earth-Willie Nelson & Friends
I Hope-The Dixie Chicks
What’s Going On-Marvin Gaye
This Land Is Your Land-Woody Guthrie
A Change is Gonna Come-Sam Cooke
Waiting On The World To Change-John Mayer
Cherry Bomb-John Mellancamp
Real Bad News-Aimee Mann

Cupcake Rationalization

hostess cupcake ttv
Originally uploaded by lifelovepaper

I was on the phone with my sister last night. At one point she started to give me a really hard time (big sister type of hard time) for eating a Twix bar. A Halloween sized Twix bar. She remembers me saying that I don’t like cheap chocolate. Really, I don’t. It’s kind of waxy and very sugary. BUT-who can resist Halloween sized chocolate? Not me. So anyway, later in the conversation I hear the sound of plastic and ask what she’s doing. What does she say but, “Eating a Hostess Cupcake.” Eating a Hostess Cupcake. Uh-huh. That’s better than eating a Halloween snack size Twix bar. I say this exact thing to her. She, my big sister, a grown woman who home schools her children, runs a business and a household, justifies it by saying “It’s not a real cupcake, it’s mostly air”.

(Pausing while you read that again-go ahead I’ll wait while you stop laughing & catch your breath.)

My only question is….does it say that on the nutritional information label?

Yummy brownies

I've had this recipe for S'More Brownies for about a month now but never got around to making them. (Photo to the side is from the Food Network website. We ate them too quickly to bother with photography. CHOCOLATE PEOPLE! ) So, this weekend, when the opportunity came up to spend the day with Ferris and her girls I decided it was time.

Oh my goodness were they yummy! The 7 year old was told to take her plate out to the porch for fear of ooey gooey marshmallow getting all over the carpet. As we sat silently eating our afternoon treat we hear from outside "THESE ARE SO GOOD", quickly followed by an impish appearance at the front door, complete with marshmallow dripping down her chin "THESE ARE SO GOOD!" Please click on the photo to be taken to the recipe on www.FoodTv.com. Full disclosure...I did not make the scratch brownies included in the recipe. I used a boxed brownie mix. Maybe next time...for now I was looking for fast and crowd pleasing.

Earlier in they day I made two pans of the graham cracker crust. One for Ferris & her family, the other for mine. As I left the house I mentioned to my husband that he could make the brownie part if he felt like it. Fully expecting to come home to a still empty graham cracker crust. USC was on TV after all. I was pleasantly surprised when I came home to find that he did make the brownie part. All I needed to do was toast the marshmallows. Ferris & I had done this part earlier without a hitch. We had warm golden toasted goodness. No such luck later. I turned on the broiler. I slid the pan in the oven. I called my grandmother. As I sat talking to her about my recipe for Apple Pecan Cheesecake I detected the unmistakable smell of burning sugar. A quick "hold on!" as I threw the phone down and ran to the kitchen. The marshmallows were hugely swollen and a very crisp, very dusty black. I had no choice but to laugh. I grabbed my biggest spoon and scraped away all the char, leaving a shiny marshmallowy glaze on my husbands brownies. We ate them anyway.

I'm wearing some pretty pretty shoes today. Just got them at Target on sale for $17. What a bargain! I know, some may balk at the idea of wearing Target shoes but I just don't make enough money for the $398 pair I wanted from Anthropologie. A girl has to make do.

I am....

Found this during my random reading. Can't even remember where I found it. That's horrible. I do, however think it is an interesting exercise. Try it.

I AM … More than I give myself credit for.
I WANT … to be successful. To be creative all of the time instead of wasting my working hours with meaningless paper shuffling.
I HAVE … a million projects in my head. Maybe one will get done.
I KEEP … too much stuff. Always with a future use in mind.
I WISH I COULD … lie in a hammock listening to a stream rolling by while reading Pride & Prejudice. Again. Or Jane Eyre. Or .....
I HATE … intolerant, untruthful, ignorant people.
I FEAR … losing someone I love.
I HEAR … loud, bad 80’s easy listening from a co-workers desk.
I DON’T THINK … I ever feel comfortable in my own skin.
I REGRET … not finishing college.
I LOVE … the precious moments when my husband, Lovey & I are all laughing over the same shared family silliness.
I AM NOT … what I look like on the outside.
I DANCE … to make my son smile & shake his head in mock embarassment.
I SING … because it makes me feel good.
I NEVER … was very good at making friends.
I REALLY … wish I was at home reading a book right now.
I CRY WHEN I WATCH … movies I’ve seen 1000 times.
I AM NOT ALWAYS … as happy & positive as I pretend to be.
I HATE THAT … I am not always as happy & positive as I pretend to be.
I AM CONFUSED ABOUT … Life and what to do next.
I NEED … for nothing. I have a home, a husband and son that love me and a job to help pay the bills. I know where my next meal is coming from. Everything else is extra.
I SHOULD … remember my “I NEED” comment more often

Frustration.

Frustration.
Originally uploaded by Craig Axxie

I am so sick of working with women that are deceptive and untrustworthy. I am in a difficult position. Being one of three people out of thirty that were not laid off leaves me with having to work with two women I do not trust nor really care for. I’ve been trying to make the best of it but I’m at the end of my rope. One of them I know for a fact has lied and spread nastiness about me behind my back. The other (a woman who claims Christianity), I honestly do know if anything that passes her lips is true. She constantly buddies up to someone to their face but then speaks viciously about them the second they turn their backs. Sometimes she doesn’t even wait for them to be out of earshot! This would include our boss, who may not be the most inspiring person to work for but he is a nice man. Although, I’ve been told in the past not to trust him either. I suppose it’s the nature of working in the industry I do. Living where I do.

It’s a terrible feeling to come to work each day and feel not only like an outsider but to feel as is I need to watch every word I say and every thing that I do. That combined with my general panic that I will eventually get laid off and my husbands business with continue to take a downturn makes for long days in cubicle H-E-Double Hockey Sticks. See! Doesn’t that say something about a person that won’t even swear in a blog that is read by only a handful of people!

These people I work with make me doubt MY goodness. If they can be so mean about me behind my back, then is some of what they say true? They make me want to hide my intelligence and productivity. To “dumb” myself down in attempt to hide from them. I know this is the wrong approach. I know that I should continue to be positive and be true to myself. But today, they are winning.

Dream

Forest Stream
Originally uploaded by (stacker)

I had one of those dreams last night that, so far, is staying with me. I was in the middle of a forest. In my mind it was Lytle Creek where we camped when I was little but it didn't really look like Lytle Creek. There was a waterfall, and a wide stream. Tall trees and wild flowers were everywhere. Next to the stream was a beautiful cottage with a low porch and big picture windows. Inside, the house was filled with rustic painted furniture. It was overcrowded with tables of every kind. The red velvet couch my Aunt Kibby had was there too. It was a rambling cottage that seemed to go on and on. I was confused when I entered the house. I was barefoot and wearing a long flowing cotton nightgown. From different doorways I saw my Great Grandma Tag, Aunt Kibby, Nanny (my fathers mother), my Grammy (who is the only one of these woman still alive) and for some reason Myrtle-a woman my great grandmother used to clean for. A woman that I only met a few times and that passed away when I was very very young. It seemed she was "in charge". All of the woman were also barefoot and wearing cotton nightgowns. I don't remember any conversations but I do remember being confused and wanting to know what I, and everyone else was doing there. I remember running from room to room trying to "catch" one of the woman for help. Finally, I sat on the red couch with my Grandma Tag looking at old pictures. Pictures that didn't make sense because all of these woman were together and young in the photos. I stepped outside into the sharp, glaring sunlight then at the water shinning so brightly that it blinded me. My alarm clock sounded I was awake. The dream lost.

Dinner

100_1242
Originally uploaded by bbratsthoughts

Made hash from left over roast beef tonight. I think I enjoy this part of a roast more than I enjoy it the first night. The carrots carmelize. The potatoes brown and crisp. Comfort food at it's best.

Wishful Weathering

Change is good
Originally uploaded by kennymatic

Today I am wishing for a real Autumn. Changing leaves, crisp days, nights spent dreaming beneath an extra quilt or two. It's at least 90 today. They say it will cool off by this weekend, but I live in the LA area. THEY are just trying to fool me into wearing jeans and big comfy cardigans. THEY are just trying to trick me. I know how they are. If I'm lucky we'll get one or two beautifully clear, cool fall days when the leaves fall off the trees in record time then we'll be right back to hot. I think I need a vacation to higher elevations.

Sunday in Orange

We did it! We accomplished one of the items on our Sunday List. (Visit Conversations with Shen for details.) On Sunday afternoon we headed out to Old Town Orange for a bit of antiquing. It was a new world for Ferris. I grew up immersed in it. The best part of the day is that my passion rubbed off a little on Ferris and a monster was created. She spent the evening researching her new obsessions on Google & eBay. I gave herself a pat on the back for imparting a little bit of wisdom.

I was a little disappointed in the shopping. Everything was much more expensive than it should be and each store seemed to have the same items. I’ve always been more of a fan of the individual store rather than antique districts. But, there are a few good spots around The Plaza that are worth the drive. It was also a great place to jump (or be pushed) head first into a new world. In my family antiques were a way of life. I’m not talking about Louis the XVI fancy-schmancy furniture, I’m talking about real world, things you can use, antiques. Glass ware, linens, kitchen ware. I would never buy something just to look at it. I want to use it. I want it to have a purpose. Looking pretty is just the bonus.

The best part of the day was spending it with an old friend & igniting a fire. Antiquing, thrifting, junking-whatever you want to call it, is the ultimate in recycling. Why buy something new when something old was probably built better and will last longer? I did find a few treasures…An old hand sifter with the paper label still attached, a potato masher with a green handle, an enamelware ladle ( I LOVE enamelware), an old carnival prize metal cowboy horse and a Ponderosa Ranch tin cup (both gifts for Monkey-I’ll fill the cup with M&M’s). I also found an old Reyn Spooner shirt for my husband for only $20. A steal really. Ferris found a couple of goodies too but her day was more about finding out what she really likes. I’ll post some photos later. My husband hijacked his new shirt for a trip to Atlanta before I was able to snap a picture.

A Confession

I have a confession.

I am a stalker, a creeper...whatever you want to call it. There are quite a few blogs that I read everyday and I never comment. Why? I have no idea. These sites tend to inspire me to be more creative. They frustrate me a bit too. Only because they show me what I'm capable and remind me that I'm not doing the things I should be.

As a penance, I have added them to my blogroll and I will list them all here. I will make an effort to comment. Find something good to say and just say it. For now, to all of you out there doing the same thing, lets work together and start leaving our positive comments.

Feeling Stitchy
Buttons Magee
Antique Mommy
Future Girl

Grace Stikes Again

I've mentioned before that my nickname growing up was Grace (one of the many nicknames anyway). Well. This weekend, she stuck her foot out and tripped me up again.

We were visiting family yesterday. The terrain was not my own. Lovey & I were horsing around as we often do. - Now, before I describe this "horsing around" we were doing, please know that nothing is done viciously or with anger, we are laughing the entire time, and for the most part, it is done softly with intent of messing with the other person, not hurting them. There is rarely pain & apologies and giggles are passed when there is.- SO...This game we play usually starts with one of us very lightly kicking the other one in the calf or the rear end. Or lightly finger slapping the other one in the arm or again, the leg. Sometimes there is poking in the arm or stomach. All it takes is one touch and we're both off giggling and smacking each other. My husband HATES it when we do this. He says it's because he knows one of us will end up hurt. But, that rarely happens. I think it's because he's more than a little jealous. He's one of those "doesn't play well with others" kind of fellows. He does play too hard and someone does get hurt when he gets involved.

As we were playing, Lovey got a good smack on my leg. We had an audience and had them all laughing. Because this smack was loud (but not painful) he took off running outside. This caused everyone-mostly men-to make chicken sounds. Again, just teasing , he was laughing & smiling the whole time. While he taunted me from outside the screen door, I warned "Just you wait...I know where you sleep!" A few minutes later, he braved the indoors and stood talking to his uncle. I crept up behind him, kicked him softly in the rear end and took off.

This is when I learned a very important safety tip. Never wear Crocs while running on thick piled carpet. The rubber sticks and you just don't get the speed or control you need. I turned the corner, the toe of my shoe caught on the carpet, my knee buckled underneath me. I looked forward and saw only the corner of the wall. Quickly, I stuck out my arms so they would grab it first rather than my head crashing into the corner. My hands made it, my arms grasped it, I made it to the wall without injury. This was not done gracefully. I was literally hugging the wall while my legs were bent at strange angles, both feet stuck in place because of that darn rubber shoe. As I giggled, I slid down the wall, hit the floor, rolled over and started laughing. My sweet Lovey knew I wasn't hurt so he too laughed to the point of falling to the floor. My wonderful sister in law watched all of this in a panic. All I could hear above the laughter was her calling my husbands name over & over, sure I had seriously injured myself.

I did scrape my knee, and I do have a large bump on my wrist, but the fun was more than worth it. As I stood in my own kitchen later, my husband examining my slightly swollen wrist, he said "I knew someone would get hurt." I just smiled and went for the facts. My boy is 14. He doesn't let me kiss him. He will only on the rarest of occasions let me hug him. But he will play with me. If I get a little banged up in the process, then so be it. Years from now neither of us will remember the sting of a finger slap but we will remember the laughter.

Searching for inspiration...

inspiration
Originally uploaded by seccad

Last weekend I rearranged my living room. A sure sign of trouble brewing. Usually when I do this it's because I'm trying to distract myself from something else. I knew as I moved my favorite chair into a corner, that this was the case. Four days later and I still don't know what it was I've been distracting myself from.

As I wondered around the local bookstore last night I just couldn't find anything that interested me. That is a shocking thing. Not once have I walked into a book store and not been drawn to something. I knew I was looking for beatuy and inspiration. Something with a lyrical language and deep in meaning. I just couldn't find it. I ended up with the John Adams biography by David McCullogh I've been meaning to read forever and an anthology of poetry. What does that say about what I've been needing? Hope in a politically ravaged time? As I began reading John Adams last night one of his quotes was something like..."You're never alone as long as you've got a poet in your pocket." Fitting that I purchased this and poetry at the same time.

As interesting as this book may become, I don't think it's the inspiration I've been looking for. Maybe the looking for inspiration is a distraction itself. I'm feeling unfocused and scattered. Perhaps today, I'll just listen.